Orchestral Flatulence 

Get to know my personality through poetry, artwork, skits and podcasts.

Light-Hearted

Drawing a Children's book

​Documenting the creation of a children's book.

Poo-Poo Salad

Signature comedy for children.  Stories that rhyme.

Bacio Formaggio

An Italian immigrant runs a bakery and sings to his customers.

Serious

My Sacred Stupid

I make fun of things you hold dear.

The Shitty Butler

Very weird comedy.

Beyond the Beat

White Guy Rapping.

Cosmic Chatter

Illustrating mechanisms in the brain.

Muse

The women that inspire me to write poetry.

Post-it Canvas

Documenting the tear-down of my mental map responsible for documenting the research for 'The Mythology of the Muse.'

​Poetry

Audition pieces

Bitecast

Bite-sized podcasts about why you should consider booking an appointment with me.

Politics
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A unique take on American politics.

Severe

Quotable Quandaries

Manic-Logic

The Sicilian Scotchman

Repugnant humour.

Art

Merciless

Broken Genius

Podcast

DEEP-DIVE

​"The culture of certainty divides us with reckless ignorance.  
​Their ignorance censors your truth.  Your ignorance censors their truth.
I resent people who are offended by honesty because without honesty, ignorance controls your freedom to think.  When the majority are ignorant, honesty is a crime.  Are thoughts illegal?  Come find out."  

--​Sardonic Poet

I know how to checkmate trauma; whether that's mental illness, addiction or sexual abuse. The solution is simple: You have to accept yourself completely. Do you know why you are not perfect? There is putrid Satanic evil in you. The type of evil that would have you commit crime.  Your insecurity is a vehicle for trauma to express itself without your consent. Emotional triggers can be overcome. I've been there.

In 2014 I experienced psychosis. I was so delusional I believed I understood the universe. I stretched my brain (like cold licorice) till it snapped. I incurred brain damage and was hospitalized in a psych ward for a month.  I've been on disability leave ever since with two suicide attempts to my name.  Thanks to psychosis I can introspect DEEPER than the majority of the planet. I record my insights and share them with those with the courage to listen.
I accept God made me broken for his amusement.  God cannot be bored.  I'm a Sardonic Poet.  My faith is loosely-based on Christianity, but I pervert his word to the tune of intrigue.  Why?  To interface with atheist's.  Why?  We need civility.  We can't all be right all the time.  Takes courage to be civil.  Why?  "I accept the blame."  Who accepts the blame anymore?  I have started a podcast called "Good vs Good: common ground begets common good."  If you're an atheist, start there.  If you are really at the end of your rope, select the "Courses" link in the menu above.

Deep-Dive continued...select the button below.

What are my qualifications

​Work Experience

I worked my entire career in a corporate environment.

Testomonials

Read about my client's experience undergoing my treatment.

Learn about R.A.T.

Remote Artistic Therapy
​

I like to answer your questions

Email me your questions at john.tuccitto@sardonicpoet.com and I may post them below anonymously.

Questions Answered (29 total)

29. I felt afraid, but I was confused as to why I was afraid in the first place?

Fear and confusion are lovers.

28. Are you afraid to ask others for help?

I was.  When you don't have a choice but to adapt, your ego will only offer you death as an option.

27. What is the worst possible thing you can do to your parents?

Disappoint them.

26. I am 21 years old and a student of college of education, but better still I always feel shy and fear to talk in the midst of people.  How do I overcome this in my life?

What's the advantage of being afraid?  Does the advantage appeal to you more than the disadvantage?  The advantage of fear is courage.  The disadvantage of fear is...cowardice.

25. I'm getting a weird sensation when I’m being exposed to art. It makes me panic and feel as though I can’t breathe and makes me angry and sad and confused and sometimes makes me faint, what is this? Sometimes I hallucinate when it happens too.

All art is is a mirror.  In essence you are offended by what you see: you or the absence of you.

24. Why does being normal scare me?

You’ve been told all your life, “Be Extraordinary!” What does that mean? It means be popular, be wealthy, be beautiful, be a genius, be a leader etc. etc. The expectation is unrealistic for most people, all this mantra achieves is to string people along on a fruitless endeavor to achieve the impossible. By you being afraid to admit you are normal, you interrupt the programming. Just be yourself, and let other people waste their time labelling you. Just do you.

23. How do I put an end to an addiction when I feel like it’s part of me already?

You cannot achieve fulfillment through addiction; that’s impossible. Why? Addiction needs to be pursued like an ex-love. Achieving fulfillment means you lose all incentive to waste your time on a fruitless endeavour. Addiction dangles closure above you like mistletoe. You’re the asshole with puckered lips, ensconced in delusion, prostituting your pride for a temporary reprieve from reality.
“Why do you resent pain?”

22. How do you shut off your emotions? My parents always say things that get to me and tell me to grow thicker skin since I am way too 'sensitive'.

Make mistakes. How? Don’t be afraid to be embarrassed when you’re wrong. Repetition. Eventually you’ll be cool under fire.

21. How do you deal with a neurotic person?

Be honest. If they are unaware their behavior is aggravating to others the last thing they want is to be ignorant about it. If they do want to be ignorant and don’t appreciate the honesty, leave them alone.

20. Why am I not mad when people mock me?

You don’t hinge your approval on others.  Mocking you is their need to relate (with other participants) experiencing together the insecurity you inspire in them. Their insecurity is clear to you, and to accept their criticism validates mockery as a go-to exercise to overcome themselves.  

19. What do you call people who ignore their romantic feelings for another person and simply let them fade away?

Wise.

18. My dad always rubs me into my nose how bad and ungrateful I was as a child, I feel guilty and I hate myself and I wish I could do better?

​Your father is teaching you to relate to hate. Your father resents you because he couldn’t change your poor behaviour. He has to live with the memories of being a bad father. That’s what he learned from his father, and that’s what you’ll teach your son.

17. Do you have a diet that helps?

Temptation craves enthusiasm. Food triggers reflections into the past and projections into the future. There's no way to eliminate temptation (you're not supposed to). But know when your actions translate into enthusiasm, temptation is never pleased. Ask yourself, are you hungry or bored, or impatient. Is there a passion you are neglecting that has disguised itself as hunger? Be aware.

16. Why do I feel so empty?

You're full of holes.  A colander is not a cup.  Stop trying to fill it with water.  Fill it with something that get's trapped like...croutons.

15. I just want some comfort in knowing I'm not crazy.

Accept it.  The people that don't accept they are crazy are ill.

14. How do I explain to my mother that depression is more than just being sad? Without starting a fight with her.

The root of evil encourages despair to flourish because our imperfections live to aggravate others through our insecurities.  This only motivates us to sink deeper into despair because it’s easier to give up and ask for pity.  This cycle repeats itself.

13. Why are fearful people afraid of unknowns and want clear cut answers?

Fear trains us to obey with promise it will not manifest.

12. Can you be forced or compelled into being a good person or can genuine goodness of the heart only be voluntary?

Ask the people who benefit from the deed cares if the generosity was influenced or voluntary.

11. What exists only to mess with us?

Doubt.

10. What is the optimal manner in which caregivers should teach their children about what love is?

Love is transparent affection.

9. When has everyone stood up and clapped?

I am allergic to applause.

8. Why does a group of people clapping always get faster?

It's like sledding on a soccer field.  You just sit there.  Clapping tilts the field until is becomes a slope.  If the cadence doesn't escalate, the sled will stop accelerating.  I guess groups wish to escalate the thrill until it tops out.  It annoys me personally.

7. What are blind spots in psychology?

Fear wields ignorance to steer your intrigue towards triggers that dissuade your curiosity from persevering.

6. Is freedom a dumb concept?

Freedom is the desire to escape oppression.  It's a moving target, and it's unconcerned with who or what it impacts.  I suppose if you believe there is no such thing as freedom, your escape rests on those who try in vain (for your amusement).  That's your freedom.

5. Are hierarchies avoidable?  Is the very existence of and ideal oppressive?  Without an ideal to strive toward, how can society be ordered?

Food chain.  Survival is-was our ideal.  We've lost sight of that because convenience is our ideal.  In a hierarchy what ideal wins?  Survival or convenience?  If you're starving; survival.  If you're lazy; convenience.  In a hierarchy what is oppression?  "I'm not getting my way."  In a survival situation you can't blame nature, you can only respect it.  We are not nature because our ideal is convenience.  Inconvenience is our oppression. 

4. Is there or is there not anything objectively right or wrong that is independent of human opinion?

Look at politics.  Look at how news corps stay in business purely by painting their opposition as inferior.  It's a fucking racket.  These rackets exist because none of us are objective.: there is only profit.  What is profitable is predictable.  Humans are predictable, not objective.  Ask me how I know...

3. ​According to Freud, why do some people enjoy when something bad happens to someone?

Misfortune is misunderstood.  Delight in fate's mercy.

2. How will censorship hurt writers and artists?

Censorship is despicable. If you are so ill-equipped to process incompatible thought, you choose to disable critical thinking; preferring to arrest what triggers signal within you to adapt to adversity. If that makes me an asshole (in your eyes), don't talk to me.  Don't stick your head in the sand and claim you know better.

1. What is the threat of virtue?

I do not see an end to racism; regardless of who we elect. It's a bottomless stomach. We feed it virtue but...it's never satisfied. Why? The fear to offend (under the threat of virtue) makes us accountable to the mob (that fears to offend).

MENU

​MAIN COURSE

The Dearth of Empathy     
Perceiving reality without empathy.  (audio available)  I'll have this.

What is Sardonicism?     
It is my philosophy.  You can comment and rate on every verse.  My bullshit was born to break.  (audio available) I'll have this.​

The Simulation of Doubt
Mythological origin of Satan.  (audio available)  I'll have this.

The Simulation of Progress
Schematic of reality.  I'll have this.

The Simulation of Coincidence
Peace is no incentive for compromise.  I'll have this.

"Listening swallows grief.”

- Sardonic Poet

I ONLY KNOW WHAT I DON'T KNOW.

Talk to me and I will give you a truly alien perspective.

email
john.tuccitto@sardonicpoet.com
​

phone
416.540.6737

address
Georgetown ON, CANADA
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