Problem viewing video? Try the YouTube version. Back in summer of 2014 during my ascent to mania, I took the opportunity to document my reality with what little understanding of code I had at the time. I can follow the logic now, but I have no idea how I arrived to this conclusion. It is above my head now. I just wish I had finished it.
The index You have no incentive because it will help me to your detriment; what you get out of this has to evolve or end. Ignorance and innocence can e confused in people for innocence. //Root-Attraction: perceived qualities in another (aroused) by representing; the lack of perceived qualities in the self. The degree of difficulty one perceives to attract another, represents the binding-agent which must equal or be greater than the previous interpersonal connection plus, the unknown quantity that effects "emotional stability". //Selfish-coward //You enjoy the pursuit; even if it's annoying. Because it's a self important response. The instant the pursed is captured, they become the pursuer. //Selfish-coward flips to Selfish-hypocryt The degree of difficulty one perceives in pursuit of another, represents the binding-agent which must equal or be greater than the previous interpersonal connection plus, the unknown quantity that effects "emotional stability". //Selfish-hipocryt //I enjoy pursuing, even if it's disappointing. Because it's a self important response The instant the pursuer stops, they become the pursued. //Selfish-hipocryt flips to Selfish-coward The instant we meet half way, we achieve acceptance. A interpersonal contract that binds two people together (conditional and subject to change without notice). //Selfish-courage The instant we meet half way, we achieve acceptance. A interpersonal contract that binds two people together (unconditional and subject for discussion before conditions change) //Selfless-courage The intangible mechanism that is responsible for defining and redefining human connection (the driving force, the rush, the inspirational unit that can only be occupied temporarily) //A + B = C (Logical-summit & Truthful summit) //Root-Acceptance: defined qualities in thyself (aroused) by representing; the abundance of perceived qualities in others. Capability to accept self is greater-than, dependance on external acceptance: //Courageous-Love, //I will fulfill your needs, without conditions or motivation from others. Or Capability to accept self is less-than, dependance on external acceptance: //Conditional-Love //I will fulfill your needs, with some conditions or motivation from others. If Capability to accept self is primarily, dependent on external acceptance: //Selfish-Love //I will fulfill your needs, only if all conditions are met or significant motivation from others. //I go first, then you go first Than Incapable to accept self, dependent on external acceptance: //Resentment (Stubborn?) //You will fulfill my needs on my terms, with significant motivation from others. If than, Incapable to accept self, independent of external acceptance: //Contempt //I will not fulfill your needs, despite significant motivation from others. Else Incapable to accept self, rejecting external acceptance: //Shame //I will not fulfill your needs, and I resent you for caring. //Root-Rejection: the instant the interpersonal contract is betrayed, begins the reanimation of the pursued / pursuer dynamic. No effort to consciously acknowledge the compromise, or series of compromises = (should this equal) //Ignorance //Ignorance is bliss //Tranquility //Numbness Either The pursuit is directed internally to discover the source of yearning / desire compromising the integrity of acceptance = (should this equal) //Fear //It’s my fault. There must be something wrong with me. //I’m solely responsible. //Crippling Or The pursuit is redirected from/to a party of equal or greater attraction or, equal or greater challenge = (should this equal) //Vanity //My needs are not being met. //I’m not at all responsible. //Desire (Lust, Distraction, Trend) Or //Denial //It can be threatening to witness someone you perceive as lesser, unexpectedly demonstrate something exceptional; in a way you can't. Or Preconceived notions of grandeur of an individual, challenged by party of equal or lesser gravity; sustains willingness to accept evidence to the contrary = (should this equal...) //Anger //It can be threatening to witness someone you perceive as lesser, unexpectedly demonstrate something exceptional; in a way you can't. //Root-Dignity: Confidence hinging on party of equal or greater gravity; (based on preconceived notions of grandeur) sustains willingness to entertain evidence to the contrary = (should this equal…) = Motivation to yield. //Selfish-Coward (truth = C is acceptance with humility) //Well played. I concede on this issue you have proven me wrong. //Humility Confidence hinging on party of equal or greater gravity; (from preconceived notions of grandeur) sustains willingness to entertain evidence to the contrary = (should this equal…) = Motivation to resist. //Selfish-Hypcrypt (truth = C is rejection with finesse) //Let’s Agree to Disagree //Political-Correctness Confidence hinging on party of lesser gravity; (from preconceived notions of grandeur) sustains willingness to entertain evidence to the contrary = (should this equal…) = Motivation to yield. //Selfish-Coward (truth = C is acceptance via patronizing) //That’s fine, I’ll let you have this one //Bitter Confidence hinging on party of lesser gravity; (from preconceived notions of grandeur) sustains willingness to entertain evidence to the contrary = (should this equal…) = Motivation to resist. //Selfish-Hypocryt (truth = C is rejection via crudeness) //Whatever, you’re stupid! //Immature //Root-Arousal: acceptance of the self; conditioned on partners unwillingness to maintain an acceptable level of interest over a period of time. (?) Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be greater-than, the effort required to maintain partner’s interest = (should this equal…) = Lack of motivation to commit. //Selfish-coward (in the key moment of = C, the coward’s true nature is exposed) //The price of your acceptance is too significant of personal expense to maintain your interest //Partner deemed, High-maintenance //Partner deemed, Clingy or Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be greater-than, the effort required to maintain partner’s interest = (should this equal…) = Motivation to commit. //Selfish-hypocryt (in the key moment of = C, the hypocrite’s true nature is exposed) //The price of your acceptance is too rewarding of personal gain to pass up. //Partner deemed, Easily-Manipulatable if Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be less-than, the effort required to maintain partner’s interest = (should this equal…) = Lack of motivation to commit. //Selfish-coward (in the key moment of = C, the hypocrite’s true nature is validated) //The price of your acceptance is too significant of personal expense to win your interest //What is required of thyself to win your acceptance, is too great to overcome my fear of rejection //I don’t care, leave. then Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be less-than, the effort required to maintain partner’s interest = (should this equal…) = Motivation to commit. //Selfish-hypocryt (in the key moment of = C, the hypocrite’s true nature is validated) //The price of your acceptance is too insignificant of personal expense to maintain your interest //What is required of thyself to win your acceptance, is insignificant to overcome my fear of rejection //Wait, don’t go.. ———————— draft stuff below ———————————-- Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be greater-than, the effort required to maintain partner's interest = (should this equal…) = Motivation to commit. //Selfish-coward becomes Selfish-hipocryt (?) //The price of your acceptance is too significant of personal expense to pass-up. //I like a challenge if Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be less-than, the effort required to maintain partner's = (should this equal…) = Lack of motivation to commit. //Selfish-hipocryt //The price of your acceptance is insignificant of personal expense to maintain your interest. //I’m bored with you… (push-over) Than, Self-Acceptance (measured against partner) is perceived to be less-than, the effort required to maintain partner’s interest = (should this equal…) = Motivation to commit. //Selfish-hipocryt becomes Selfish-coward //The price of your acceptance is suitable to maintain your interest. //I like easy-going (casual) —————— draft above ————————-- //Root-Disgust: rejection of the self; conditioned on partners willingness to maintain an unacceptable level of attraction over a period of time. (?) //Root-Trigger: the weight of uncertainty; Sabotages ones ability to choose the best course of action; speed of execution, quality and effectiveness of response: The degree of comfort one experiences is greater-than, the weight of uncertainty = = Confidence //Increased ability to deduce //Decreased reaction time //Increased effectiveness in translating thought into action //Increased ability to convey ideas effectively to others //Based on the information I have, this is the most logical decision I can make. or The degree of comfort one experiences is less-than + the weight of uncertainty = = Insecurity //Decreased ability to deduce //Increased reaction time //Decreased effectiveness in translating thought into action //Decreased ability to convey ideas effectively to others //I think…hmmm… let me take this away and get back to you. if The mind’s effectiveness at connecting physical irritation of the stomach to intensely important rational cues, is greater-than the weight of uncertainty = = Gut //The minds ability to fight the gravitational pull of uncertainty's (association achieved by prolonged physical symptom following thought); pulling thought towards an action to increase possibility of succumbing to an undesired result. //When I think of how Chris' behaviour requires me to be forthright about my feelings, it makes me sick to think about it losing him as a friend. Else The mind’s effectiveness at connecting physical irritation of the stomach to intensely important rational cues, is less-than the weight of uncertainty = = Rut //The minds ability to connect physically weakened irritation of the stomach to intensely important rational cues, is less-than the weight of uncertainty = //The devil you know, is better than the devil you don’t. //Root-Perspective: the ultimate framework of the universe we consciously acknowledge, measured against our emotional footprint; experiencing flux. (The 4th dimension) The bigger the perspective of all things we consciously experience in our lives, the less we are swayed by the force of inconsequence. //Experience //Fortifies scope of undefined-self, //It is what is is, it’s of no consequence to me. //I don’t have all the information so I will hold off judgement-call until I do. The smaller the perspective of all things we consciously observe in our lives, the more we are swayed by the force of inconsequence. //Inexperience //Unprepared against harshness responsible for overwriting or occupying potential scope of self; like a tumour. //I have a blind-spot towards <insert insecurity> //shame //Obvious-Catalyst //Love //Oblivious-Catalyst //Self-Love (Acceptance) //Obvious-Truth //Art //Oblivious-Truth //Design (?) //Obvious-Logic //Science //Oblivious-Logic //Design (?) //Obvious-Inhibitor //Fear //Oblivious-Inhibitor //Shame
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John Ralph TuccittoThese posts are articles I write that live independently from my books, but are still connected. Archives
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