Home Owner: What the fuck are you doing? Is that that Gouda?
Exterminator: I ran out of Swiss.
Home Owner: Why are you-where are the traps?!
Exterminator: Oh...sorry there must be some confusion. Did you say you want more rats?
Home Owner: What-the-I can't...who the fuck wants rats?
Exterminator: Now that you mention it...I can't think of a person who would want more rats.
Home Owner: Get the fuck out of my house.
Exterminator: Ah yes my confusion was linked to stupidity.
Home Owner: Oh SHIT a MOUSE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Exterminator: You sure dooooo don't like rats.
Home Owner: You guys hiring?
Wife: Why you keep standing next to me when I cook?
Husband: I don't want you to ask "where is that piece of shit?" I'm right here.
Wife: You are a hypocrite.
Husband: Whens that stopped anybody before now?
The Shitty Butler
I'm kind of like your husband whom which you pay to do the chores you hate.